Going back to work

Today is my last day off – 4 weeks of holidays have flown past, and I have barely noticed. I am a bit torn, because this holiday has at the same time been very dull and more exciting than any other holiday (or any other part of my life) so far. On the dull side, I have spent most of my holiday in my apartment, haven’t been out once (out as in going out, not as in being outside), and have not even watched anything these 4 weeks. The exciting part of course is my little son, which keeps A. and me busy for 3 people. Now that we spent roughly 3 weeks alone with the baby, the next stage begins – me going to work every morning, and coming home in the evening – leaving my wife and my son to tend for themselves. I wonder how it will feel, being back, having to deal with all those “important” and “already to late” requests, things that should have happened long ago or that went wrong, dealing with people, my colleagues, my boss. And at the same time thinking that the real important things are at home. Though, who knows, maybe I will be happy to have a distraction, and have “real” issues to deal with rather than musing about whether that little cry was “I am hot”, “I am lonely”, or “I am dirty”. In any case, it is good that it’s only two days to start with before weekend comes…

b.

wonders of modern technology

A friend was kind enough to lend me one of the hottest mobile phones on the market right now, a Nokia N95. While I am not the most geeky person on the planet, I certainly do like my toys, so I could hardly wait to test all the great new things. To make it short, the wifi and web browser feature is the one I use the most by far – nothing goes over being able to check the newest conspiracy websites before even getting out of bed. The most disappointing feature so far is the gps module which I cannot seem to get to work at all. All in all I am quite happy, but I would not suggest this phone to my dad, there are too many buttons, to many levels of applications, and it crashes way too often. Maybe because I use lots of things, but the browser should not crash, or the wifi not connect, or not disconnect for that matter. The other week I re-installed the OS 3 times because it would now connect. Why it works now again I don’t know either.
A colleague warned me of switching phones shortly before an important event such as the birth of my son, and I ignored him. The result is that the notes I wrote during labour are now lost forever because I made a mistake with the new phone. Makes me think again of starting this backup-company, giving people some easy means to make sure their digital stuff does not disappear with the first hard disk crash, lost phone, or other calamity. Anyone willing to join me?
This article was written on the N95.

b.

Theme of today: sleeping or crying

It is not the first time ever, and it certainly won’t be the last, but today (and part of yesterday actually) our son seems to either sleep in our arms, or cry. We are still trying to establish patterns, the baby is learning about the world, and so are we – learning about our new world, trying to see what makes him happy and what makes him sad. Unfortunately he cannot tell us, so we have to keep guessing and see whether it works. Someone said that babies have very few reasons to cry: they are either hungry, or have tummy pain, or are lonely. (somewhere there I miss feeling uncomfortable due to dirty diapers, and being tired- ah well..)

As all is more or less guess work, the remedies you have are to be based on this uncertainty – this means for example that you cannot just keep giving the baby medicine against a colicky tummy – for one, giving medicine is not really our favourite past time, and certainly not if we don’t know whether or not we are trying to heal something that is not broken in the first place. On the other hand, just holding your baby in your arms when a small dose of (totally harmless) Sab Simplex would do the trick is not really the solution either. Our midwife suggested some homoeopathic things, but even though it is homoeopathic and harmless, how should I feel about giving my 3 week old son “drugs to calm down”? How far until Prozac and Tranquillisers? Until we just attach the ADD (attention deficit disorder)-label, and have forthwith an excuse to medicate and make our lives more comfortable? Of course, these are stray thoughts of a tired father, and I would never ever allow my kid to be given psycho drugs – I rather hold him in my arms for hours at a time. But the question remains – when do you do your kid a favour by applying (gentle) medicine, and when are you giving the kid stuff you should not, instead of just listening to its cry and concerns and alleviate the real problem (rather than the symptom)? Your thoughts are welcome…

b.

The first entry of the new mother

It’s been 3 weeks since our little one was born. It sounds a long time already, but to us it feels just like yesterday. This feeling is due to the fact that out of those 21 days, 7 were spent at the hospital and the ‘true’ feeling of being a new family has only just begun once we stepped back into our front door, 2 weeks ago.

Samuel was born exactly on the 8 August 2007, as predicted. It was a long 30 hours of labour, which I must admit was hard and felt it was never going to end. The encouragement and the never ending confidence was the only thing that kept me going, and I had b to thank for. He tried not to show the lack of sleep and sugar on the blood and kept on giving all his energy to me. He was always there, especially in moments where I thought I couldn’t go any longer. I was really lucky that I was not alone, as thinking back on those days I don’t think I was strong enough to be able to survive the experience all by myself.

One thing that was true is that you forgot the pain and the exhaustion when you heard your baby cried for the first time. To hold him for the first time in your arms was something that you could never describe in writing. You witnessed the first time he opened his eyes and looked straight at you, holding your thumb so tight to let you know that he will always be a part of you. Then you know that your life will never be the same again, and this little man has stole your heart and made you swore that you will always be there for him.

Yes, our family has grown into three. Things are different from now on and everyday is filled with things that I never knew how to do before. I am still learning to be a mother, a good one if possible, for my little one. I hope I can be. Will keep you all posted.

With love as always to all of you, from the new mother who is tired but happy.

a.

About sausages

Come to think about nappies, do you know the greatest thing since sliced bread? According to a nappy refuse container maker that will not be named here (think about angel and caring), it is the “diaper disposal system”. We got one for free from the hospital, in exchange of our names, addresses, social security number and credit card details. I am still waiting for the flood of commercials… Anyways, the thing about this system is that it produces a huge sausage filled with dirty diapers. Imagine a seethrough blue bag, bound close on both sides… quite funny actually, one wonders who came up with that idea. Pretty sure it’s patented though…

b.

Parenthood, an equal opportunity employer?

After about a million sleepless nights, walking through the flat with a little firespitting dragon in my arms, I wonder what exactly they mean with “the joy of being a parent”. That is, until our little dragon opens his mouth not to scream but to smile a toothless (and as of yet rather undirected) smile, or until he laughs loudly out of nowhere. Then I understand what they mean. Luckily for us, we mentioned in our appartment lease that the floor is sub-par, so they cannot complain when they take it back and there are little walkways engraved in the hallway (a bit like the stone floor in old churches).

Anyways, being the daddy, I always have to stop myself from complaining too much, seeing how taxing this joy of parenthood is for my lovely wife. She is beeing sucked dry every two hours (you can more or less set the clock), being abused as a “Schnulli”, and trying to take care of her hubby at the same time. The last part I try to minimise (remove it I cannot, she won’t allow me to do so), but about the other things there is just nothing I can do to help. Other than changing nappies. Which I do.

b.

The joys of being a father

I guess those of you who have children will tell me that they went through the same thing, and that in hindsight it is not that bad, but when a baby cries, it does not only break your heart but sometimes want to do anything to make it stop. The other night our little one had a tummy ache and cried his lungs out for 3 hours straight.. all our efforts, singing, walking, giving drugs, using the blow dryer, and what not did not really succeed, until both me and a. were ready to call the maker and complain that the goods were damaged. Fortunately, we have ourselves from turing crazy, and a good midwife that gives us sound advice – even at night (“have a glass of wine”). Really, after we talked to our midwife and did what she suggested (not the drinking, though that really was a suggestion as well), little one finally fell asleep – as did his exhausted parents. Poor little thing, does not know what is happening, and there is sometimes so little one can do to ensure it that it will be ok…

b.

A quick hello!

Months have passed since the last time this blog was updated. Sincerely apologies to all our friends out there who think we start forgetting them by not writing nor updating our exciting life here in the capital. A lot has happened which, has resulted this blog to be one of the end ‘victims’. But we are back! And hopefully the stories will flow more continuously from this point onward.

Few months back I lost one of the dearest persons in my life. It was hard, heart breaking, no matter how many weeks or months have passed or even now almost a year later, it is still difficult to forget and to tell myself to ‘move on’. But life goes on, and as a wise friend told me when a door is closed, God opens a window somewhere. I can now see what she meant as I am counting down the days before I go to the hospital and give birth to my first child. To see a life go before my eyes was hard, but a new life is just about to start, and the strangest, but best thing of all is that the birth date of the baby is the same as the birthday of the person whom I had to say goodbye to, forever, few months ago.

To love abundantly is to live abundantly, and to love forever is to live forever.
(Henry Drummond)

a.